I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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