Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
