i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
