i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
