Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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