I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
