But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
