We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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