i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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