I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
