happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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