My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
