Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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