Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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