Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
