I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
