So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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