DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She tied me up with her honor cords...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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