brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
