Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
