hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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