dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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