Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
