Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
