Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
