I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
