So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
