JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The ass gains better be worth it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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