so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
