that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
