Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
where are my eyebrows?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
