A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
How's work?
Spinning.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
