I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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