Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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