don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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