I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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