Nicole vs. Life
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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