he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
