Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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