kristin has been a bad kristin
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
