And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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