I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
