when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
