Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i need an iv and a liver transplant
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
