can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
