I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
