Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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