sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
