I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
