I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
