Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
