no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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