seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
