So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
