Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you win again, gameday.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
