K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
